Friday, March 27, 2009

How to spot a loser.

Here's a few simple steps to spotting losers.

1. They like anime.

This is probably one of the most obvious ways to determine someones value in life.
They find comfort in an animated world of Japanese super people, something they fond for deeply.
Lets look at the evidence.

Item A.
They wear t-shirts with the big eyed super person they think represents them the most.

what a douche.

Item B.
They more likely than none, wear ankle chokers.
The guys believe they look cool, but in reality, they look like vaginas, literally.
There's only two types of people that should be allowed to wear skinny jeans: fit gay guys and hot skinny chicks.
So if all you emo/punk fat dudes/chicks, stop this immediately.
The general public will thank you.

Item C.
Stupid hair.
Once again, they think that because their favorite cartoon has cool DRAWN hair, that they should emulate it.
Wrong. You should actually leave it alone because it makes you look stupid.
Spikes and hair that covers your eyes are for morons seeking attention from other morons.
The ironic thing is that they cant see each other.

"are you looking at how stupid i look?"
Yes, yes we are.

Item D.
This thing.


Some sort of gay Naruto fetish probably.
Ive seen a couple of people sporting this little POS.
Makes me cry at how stupid they think they don't look.

This was fun. Not too concrete and full, but its an update nevertheless.
I needed to update this thing.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

things that are awesome.

So this morning I had an epiphany. I might of had two, but im still looking into that last one. There's a good chance it might have I just hallucinated on a the Radon leaking through my floors.
Anyways, I just wanted to share with you guys a couple of things that make this world awesome.

Starting off with:

The Office.
That show is funny in too many ways.

Quentin Tarantino.
His movies are the standard on which other movies need to measure their badassness on.

Finger Mustaches
Those things are pretty cool for like 5 minutes.

Obama
The only black guy I don't mind stimulating me with his package.

The nations deficit
Making peoples $10,000 credit card bill look insignificiant.

Our Governor
We can literally say "our governor can kick your governor's ass" and sincerely mean it.

Pop Tarts
I can never have to many. Well I can, but I never want to get to that point.

Bill O' Reilly
I hate him so much I wouldn't know what to do without his dumbass.

Transvestites
I have a new found respect for them ever since I watched Rocky Horror, wait no I don't. Without them, however, mexican wrestling would suck just a bit more.

Viagra
Don't need it yet, but its reassuring to know its there.

My girlfriend
Cute little hottie that puts up with me.

Pepto Bismol
Great for those times your head and your ass are in conflict.

Mom of octoplets
Makes everyone else look saner.

Kevin Akin
No only my boss, but a total douchebag with 1 testicle.

This blog.
Needs updating, still pretty rad.

I guess this is it for now. There's more, but since im doing this via my phone, in bed, with my pants down, I fell its necessary to leave it as is.
I will be updating more often, but I wouldn't hold my breath on that it'll be soon.