So the other day I was watching Maury and he had his almost religiously consistent show of whether or not he’s the baby’s daddy. So I watched through all the drama and then finally the results.
“You….are the father” Guy jumps in the air and chick gets up and hugs her man, crying her eyes out “ I knew it baby, I knew it”. Maury then hugs both of them while the crowd continues their roars of joy and approval. Everyone is happy and full of glee except me. I have the most problem accepting this moment.
Ok, the girl goes there with three guys, one of whom is the boyfriend and the other two are just lovers. The boyfriends always say the same thing, “Even if the baby’s not mine, Ill be his/her father, but I want nothing to do with her.” I have no problem with that, that’s very honorable in my book, but what happens when Maury announces that he is in fact the father? He forgives her, stays with her and everyone from Maury to the audience to the camera man is happy.
Is it just me or didn’t she cheat on him with two other guys? Is that guy forgetting that she’s a cheating whore? I mean what does it tell you when you don’t know who the father is from three guys in one month. That tells me that she was with three guys that month, who knows about the months prior to that or after it.
If it was me who had to be on that show, my mind would be set on the baby not the cheater. So what if it’s my baby, doesn’t take away from that fact that you cheated on me. Like they say, “Once a cheater, always a cheater”. Which reminds me of another thing; ladies, why do you go back to your boyfriends when they cheat on you, why do you forgive them? I mean you’re stupid to think that he’s not going to do it again. By you accepting him back, you’re giving him permission to cheat on you again. It’s like “this dumb bitch will forgive me again if I cheat on her, all I have to do is act like I’m sorry and bang, I’m good”. Fucking stupid. You know who doesn’t cheat on their girlfriends? Geeks and nerds. So don’t be afraid to get your self one. Our motto for women is this: we won’t be able to do better if we screw up. I’m, luckily, taken by a beautiful girl, so sorry ladies.
I don’t know where I was, so I’ll stop now.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Cheerleaders & Jocks: The Losers of Modern Teenage Society
Remember how back in the day, you used to watch a movie or show set around a high school and there was always a jock dude with a letterman jacket and a hot cheerleader girlfriend? And they were always the envy of everyone else? Then you went to school and saw your school’s jocks and cheerleaders and the only thing you can think of was “Letterman jackets are so fucking ugly, and why the hell are the cheerleaders so fat?”.
So I asked myself this question: Why are high schools still portrait like that? You still see that format in current movies and shows, but does it still hold some truth to it?
Nope.
First of all, this might have only happen at my school, which I doubt, because all teenagers are…just like all other teenagers, complete morons for the most part. Well anyways, this concept of superiority in popularity is pretty misleading. I, for a fact, didn’t care about the jocks or the cheerleaders. I didn’t envy them. Why the hell would I. And after careful observation I noticed no one else at school really cared about them either. You know what I mean, the way they all hang out together. They do that, not because its such an exclusive group, its because no one wants to be part of that group.
Ok, let’s start with jocks. First, I will say this. There were plenty of people who played sports that don’t fall into this category, because of the lack of the lacking. Jocks for the most part, only know how to use their heads to stop another guy from getting past them and I thank them for that, it makes for a great football game. But because of this, it’s hard to have a conversation with someone whose idea of an interesting conversation is a review of good football plays. But jocks cause no harm, their like castrated bears. The real danger and social annoyance comes in the form of a 5 foot, skirt wearing bitch fountain called cheerleaders.
There was never a time in history where cheerleaders weren’t bitches, the only difference is that its no longer a selective group. Squads let any form of bitch in their group, no matter how shitty looking they are, nowadays. Seriously, what makes you think that if you’re an unattractive bitch you’ll gain popularity? I remember back in my senior year, during the rallies, the varsity squad would do their routine and all I could think of was, “Damn, we have shitty looking cheerleaders”. I don’t know why this is; we had a very good looking school. It’s like we’ve entered into a zone where you no longer have to be beautiful to cheer, just sluty. Oh, yeah and act like the whole world cares about your lame ass cheers during football games. Also, when the hell did cheerleading become an extreme sport? I don’t see you wrestling alligators while you skydive with a backpack full of live grenades. The day you do that will be the day you get respect from me and the rest of the world.
Well anyways, that whole misconception of what high school is should be modified to what it really is. Jocks aren’t mean anymore, their just a bit slow and they’re no longer going out with cheerleaders. Cheerleaders are too self-centered and fat to get with a jock these days. Plus, no one envies them anymore, the only feeling they get from the rest of us normal Joes is pity.
So I asked myself this question: Why are high schools still portrait like that? You still see that format in current movies and shows, but does it still hold some truth to it?
Nope.
First of all, this might have only happen at my school, which I doubt, because all teenagers are…just like all other teenagers, complete morons for the most part. Well anyways, this concept of superiority in popularity is pretty misleading. I, for a fact, didn’t care about the jocks or the cheerleaders. I didn’t envy them. Why the hell would I. And after careful observation I noticed no one else at school really cared about them either. You know what I mean, the way they all hang out together. They do that, not because its such an exclusive group, its because no one wants to be part of that group.
Ok, let’s start with jocks. First, I will say this. There were plenty of people who played sports that don’t fall into this category, because of the lack of the lacking. Jocks for the most part, only know how to use their heads to stop another guy from getting past them and I thank them for that, it makes for a great football game. But because of this, it’s hard to have a conversation with someone whose idea of an interesting conversation is a review of good football plays. But jocks cause no harm, their like castrated bears. The real danger and social annoyance comes in the form of a 5 foot, skirt wearing bitch fountain called cheerleaders.
There was never a time in history where cheerleaders weren’t bitches, the only difference is that its no longer a selective group. Squads let any form of bitch in their group, no matter how shitty looking they are, nowadays. Seriously, what makes you think that if you’re an unattractive bitch you’ll gain popularity? I remember back in my senior year, during the rallies, the varsity squad would do their routine and all I could think of was, “Damn, we have shitty looking cheerleaders”. I don’t know why this is; we had a very good looking school. It’s like we’ve entered into a zone where you no longer have to be beautiful to cheer, just sluty. Oh, yeah and act like the whole world cares about your lame ass cheers during football games. Also, when the hell did cheerleading become an extreme sport? I don’t see you wrestling alligators while you skydive with a backpack full of live grenades. The day you do that will be the day you get respect from me and the rest of the world.
Well anyways, that whole misconception of what high school is should be modified to what it really is. Jocks aren’t mean anymore, their just a bit slow and they’re no longer going out with cheerleaders. Cheerleaders are too self-centered and fat to get with a jock these days. Plus, no one envies them anymore, the only feeling they get from the rest of us normal Joes is pity.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
I'm not homophobic, I just hate fakes.
So the other day I was talking to someone dear to me and that person made the claim that half the people in the high school we went to, was gay. This person sincerely believed that most of the school if not the town was in fact gay. That statement was based on her acquaintances and their suppose claims of their own sexuality.
This fired me up. Its not the homosexual part that got me fired up, it was how fake teenagers are when it comes to getting attention.
Ok, you guys aren’t going to agree with me, for the most part, but I really feel that people should know how I feel about this. I think that the first thing I should do is ask that if you’re truly and indeed gay/lesbian/bi you should not take offense to this but instead help fish out the fakes.
So half the school is gay? Although I don’t believe it to be true, I do believe that half of our school and any other high school for that matter, claims to be homosexual.
I don’t know if it’s just me, but I doubt half the student population of any school is divided that way. From all those teenagers that claim to be gay or have some sort of suppose attraction to the same gender, I would have to tell them to shut the hell up.
Teenagers are always looking for attention, and it seems to be a new trend to tell people that you have feelings for your own gender. Seriously, what the hells up with that? Think of everyone you know that has said at one point, that they’re gay, male or female, during your teen years or young adult years. Now think about how many of those people have stayed that way. I bet you’ll have a few.
I seriously believe that from everyone who, at one point, said that they were indeed gay during high school, 90% of them weren’t, aren’t and will never be. So for those people who are just out for the attention, just because you’re confused or you just broke up with a boyfriend, or you think its cool, doesn’t make you gay. Just fucking stop it, deal with your problem and stop being a fake.
Also, what’s up with all these girls being bi these days? Just because you have a slight attraction to women you’re not bi. Guys have an attraction to each other too, but you don’t see them labeling themselves that way. Look, everyone has an attraction of sorts to their gender, that’s why guys have guys friends and girls have girl friends. This bogus bisexual allure usually involves some sort of altercation with the other gender and by doing so, someone might find comfort with their own gender. That’s normal; it doesn’t make someone bi though.
Before I get too many people pissed I’m going to finish by saying this. I’m not ruling out the fact that there are people in high school that are truly gay or bi, what I’m saying is that most of the people that claim to be, aren’t. Just because you had sex with your gender one night or might have kissed someone doesn’t mean your gay, the most likely reason was vulnerability. If you like having sex with your own gender repeatedly and exclusively, then you’re probably in fact gay, a little loose but gay. If you’re having sexual encounters with both sexes repeatedly and not getting into a serious relationship with neither of them, well you’re probably not bi, you’re most likely just a whore. Whether it be a girlwhore or manwhore, you’re just a whore. Nothing wrong with that, whatever floats your boat is what I always say, but stop using bisexuality to justify whoring around and stop using homosexuality as a way to distinguish yourself as unique. You want to know how to tell if someone is truly gay? They don’t go around advertising it.
That’s that on that. I had this one burning inside of me for a while. Let me know what you think
This fired me up. Its not the homosexual part that got me fired up, it was how fake teenagers are when it comes to getting attention.
Ok, you guys aren’t going to agree with me, for the most part, but I really feel that people should know how I feel about this. I think that the first thing I should do is ask that if you’re truly and indeed gay/lesbian/bi you should not take offense to this but instead help fish out the fakes.
So half the school is gay? Although I don’t believe it to be true, I do believe that half of our school and any other high school for that matter, claims to be homosexual.
I don’t know if it’s just me, but I doubt half the student population of any school is divided that way. From all those teenagers that claim to be gay or have some sort of suppose attraction to the same gender, I would have to tell them to shut the hell up.
Teenagers are always looking for attention, and it seems to be a new trend to tell people that you have feelings for your own gender. Seriously, what the hells up with that? Think of everyone you know that has said at one point, that they’re gay, male or female, during your teen years or young adult years. Now think about how many of those people have stayed that way. I bet you’ll have a few.
I seriously believe that from everyone who, at one point, said that they were indeed gay during high school, 90% of them weren’t, aren’t and will never be. So for those people who are just out for the attention, just because you’re confused or you just broke up with a boyfriend, or you think its cool, doesn’t make you gay. Just fucking stop it, deal with your problem and stop being a fake.
Also, what’s up with all these girls being bi these days? Just because you have a slight attraction to women you’re not bi. Guys have an attraction to each other too, but you don’t see them labeling themselves that way. Look, everyone has an attraction of sorts to their gender, that’s why guys have guys friends and girls have girl friends. This bogus bisexual allure usually involves some sort of altercation with the other gender and by doing so, someone might find comfort with their own gender. That’s normal; it doesn’t make someone bi though.
Before I get too many people pissed I’m going to finish by saying this. I’m not ruling out the fact that there are people in high school that are truly gay or bi, what I’m saying is that most of the people that claim to be, aren’t. Just because you had sex with your gender one night or might have kissed someone doesn’t mean your gay, the most likely reason was vulnerability. If you like having sex with your own gender repeatedly and exclusively, then you’re probably in fact gay, a little loose but gay. If you’re having sexual encounters with both sexes repeatedly and not getting into a serious relationship with neither of them, well you’re probably not bi, you’re most likely just a whore. Whether it be a girlwhore or manwhore, you’re just a whore. Nothing wrong with that, whatever floats your boat is what I always say, but stop using bisexuality to justify whoring around and stop using homosexuality as a way to distinguish yourself as unique. You want to know how to tell if someone is truly gay? They don’t go around advertising it.
That’s that on that. I had this one burning inside of me for a while. Let me know what you think
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Really, Why Do You Wear It?
First of all let me start by saying that I’m not a man of fashion, I’m just an honest man with an honest opinion and a keen eye for dipshits and their dipshit apparel. Now that we got that out of the way let me start telling you about things people wear that should be legally banned.
Let’s not waste any time and get straight to it. If you’re a weak reader, brace yourself, its going to be a long ride.
High Heels
I’m starting with this one because it seems to be the one I get the most retaliation from. It’s very simple. If you’re not a runway model, a high corporate puta, or a corner whore you have no reason to wear them. What do they do really? Make your legs look better? Make your butt look better? Sorry to tell you but neither. Want to know why models have great legs and butts? BECAUSE THEYRE MODELS!!!!! Its not the high heels it’s the sheer fact that they’re models and they get paid because they already look good. The heels emphasize great legs, they don’t make great legs. Also, 90% of the people who shouldn’t be wearing them don’t know how to walk with them anyways. I don’t know about you but walking with your back hunched over whilst taking little steps doesn’t read sexy on my sexy meter. As for women CEO’s and whores, well let’s face it. If you’re a CEO you shit money so you don’t care and if you’re a whore, your feet are the last thing your customers are thinking about.
Leggings
Hey if it came from the 80’s, let it stay in the 80’s. Seriously, who’s the stupid jerk off who decided to bring this back? I bet it was a woman. A man wouldn’t try to add another road block to their destination. The only thing this promotes is bad maintenance. It gives a girl a reason to wear a skirt even if she only shaved up to her knee. Its kind of like a “fuck it” provider. I also believe that it’s a loop hole for women to wear short skirts without risking groin flashes. This is my theory about skirts and why leggings contradict my theory. If you wear a skirt, you have to accept the possibility of a panty flash; if you don’t want to risk a panty flash then don’t wear a skirt. It’s more respectable, in my opinion, for a girl to not wear a skirt than to wear one with leggings. Plus it doesn’t look cool, at all.
Cocked Hats
I love wearing my black cap. I love wearing caps in general and I love people who wear them. I think they’re the coolest most versatile pieces of accessories, but you can go to hell if you think you look good having it cocked a little to one side. This is what bothers me most about that style. It takes away the sole purpose of hats, and that is to cover your eyes from the sunlight. I’ve seen people wearing their hats pulled a little to one side and stand around using their hands to cover the light. I sometimes wonder why they even bother to wake up in the morning. It’s like having boat on a freezing lake with you in the water because you look better in the water than you do in the boat. It makes no sense. The only times you’re allowed to do that without looking like a douche bag is when you have to face a certain direction but the sun is position in a way that cocking your hat would help. The other time it’s allowed is when you’re just a douche and you want to tell the world you’re a douche.
Big Bags
We have to give it up for the famous to make such stupid ideas popular among stupid people. Really what do you have to carry that it won’t fit in a regular purse? I can understand why Paris Hilton would wear one; she has a lot of big items she has to carry: a dog, a camera and a hard cover copy of “How to Make Your Ass (and Vagina) the Basis for Every Joke”. I mean I remember going to Mexico once and seeing the older ladies shopping with these big mesh bags, why aren’t they selling those stores? Also why do they call them hobo bags? Any hobo would be ashamed to have such an ugly bag named after them. A hobo wouldn’t be caught dead carrying one of them, they have too much common sense and dignity.
Belts around the Waist
I wear a belt. I have nothing against belts even when used as an accessory. I do, however, have a thing against wearing a belt in the wrong place. Once again I’m not a fashionista and maybe those things have a name, but I’m going to refer to them as gut huggers, because that’s literally what they do. Hug and tuck your gut. A belt is meant to hold or compliment your pants; they were not meant to hide your gut, that’s what a gym’s for. I don’t have a thing against big girls or guys, if that’s how you roll, more power to you, but don’t try to hid rolls by placing a big fat belt around it. If you don’t have a waist don’t try to trick us into thinking you do, because I don’t know if you know this, but the people you’re trying to trick are probably people that already know your fat, so its lost battle.
Skinny Jeans
This goes out to all the emos of the world. Its nothing against you guys, so go ahead, slice, dice and complain to your hearts content, this goes out to your heavier comrades. Please, if you’re over 200 lbs, skinny jeans are just not for you. Oh, sure, its makes your cankles skinnier but it doesn’t take away the fact that the rest of you isn’t. The jeans are what’s skinny not the person in them. I, personally, like jeans, I’ve been an avid wearer, (not the skinny ones but the regular ones) ever since I can remember, but if you’re a girl and you wear skinny jeans, no matter how thin you are, you shouldn’t go out thinking of how sexy you look, because although you might look alright, its definitely not hot attire. It’s ok if you wear them, even cute at times, but for some reason making your butt look 100x’s bigger than your ankles doesn’t shout sexy. And guys, stop wearing girl clothes, just because it’s ok for girls to wear our clothes doesn’t justify you wearing theirs. Also, cut your hair. Their’s only 3 people than can rock long hair: Barry Gibbs, Jesus and me.
Pink
Ok, this one’s for the men. It’s also an old trend, not really seen anymore, but yet it continues to bother me when I do see it. I’m talking about the guys that wear pink and believe that it’s a unique little statement about their manhood. Look, it wasn’t funny when you wore that shirt that read Real Men Wear Pink and it wasn’t a statement when you wore a pink bowtie to prom. Pink on guys have been around for a long time, it’s not new. The only difference is that it wasn’t as gay to wear it then as it is now. Back in the day, it was considered salmon and it was common, but now, thanks to a few idiots, it’s called pink and it’s considered a statement. Fucking hate it.
Scrubs
Who the hell do you think you’re fooling? Do you really want me to believe that by wearing a pair of scrubs I’m going to assume you’re a doctor? Yes because all doctors shop at the 99 cent store and drive a 1998 Ford Focus. I shop at the 99 cent store because I’m not a doctor. You want to know how I know someone’s a doctor. Doctors are those guys that wear slacks and a polo shirt while walking to their BMW or Mercedes. They don’t have to show people their credentials, because their too busy keeping people alive and overcharging them for Tylenol.
Shit, this is getting longer than I wanted it to be. I’m just going to stop right here and maybe continue on a later post.
To conclude my rant, I would like to say this: People, if you have a few working brain cells, please do me a favor and stop dressing up like an asshole. Thank You.
Trust me, there’s more to come on this subject.
Let’s not waste any time and get straight to it. If you’re a weak reader, brace yourself, its going to be a long ride.
High Heels
I’m starting with this one because it seems to be the one I get the most retaliation from. It’s very simple. If you’re not a runway model, a high corporate puta, or a corner whore you have no reason to wear them. What do they do really? Make your legs look better? Make your butt look better? Sorry to tell you but neither. Want to know why models have great legs and butts? BECAUSE THEYRE MODELS!!!!! Its not the high heels it’s the sheer fact that they’re models and they get paid because they already look good. The heels emphasize great legs, they don’t make great legs. Also, 90% of the people who shouldn’t be wearing them don’t know how to walk with them anyways. I don’t know about you but walking with your back hunched over whilst taking little steps doesn’t read sexy on my sexy meter. As for women CEO’s and whores, well let’s face it. If you’re a CEO you shit money so you don’t care and if you’re a whore, your feet are the last thing your customers are thinking about.
Leggings
Hey if it came from the 80’s, let it stay in the 80’s. Seriously, who’s the stupid jerk off who decided to bring this back? I bet it was a woman. A man wouldn’t try to add another road block to their destination. The only thing this promotes is bad maintenance. It gives a girl a reason to wear a skirt even if she only shaved up to her knee. Its kind of like a “fuck it” provider. I also believe that it’s a loop hole for women to wear short skirts without risking groin flashes. This is my theory about skirts and why leggings contradict my theory. If you wear a skirt, you have to accept the possibility of a panty flash; if you don’t want to risk a panty flash then don’t wear a skirt. It’s more respectable, in my opinion, for a girl to not wear a skirt than to wear one with leggings. Plus it doesn’t look cool, at all.
Cocked Hats
I love wearing my black cap. I love wearing caps in general and I love people who wear them. I think they’re the coolest most versatile pieces of accessories, but you can go to hell if you think you look good having it cocked a little to one side. This is what bothers me most about that style. It takes away the sole purpose of hats, and that is to cover your eyes from the sunlight. I’ve seen people wearing their hats pulled a little to one side and stand around using their hands to cover the light. I sometimes wonder why they even bother to wake up in the morning. It’s like having boat on a freezing lake with you in the water because you look better in the water than you do in the boat. It makes no sense. The only times you’re allowed to do that without looking like a douche bag is when you have to face a certain direction but the sun is position in a way that cocking your hat would help. The other time it’s allowed is when you’re just a douche and you want to tell the world you’re a douche.
Big Bags
We have to give it up for the famous to make such stupid ideas popular among stupid people. Really what do you have to carry that it won’t fit in a regular purse? I can understand why Paris Hilton would wear one; she has a lot of big items she has to carry: a dog, a camera and a hard cover copy of “How to Make Your Ass (and Vagina) the Basis for Every Joke”. I mean I remember going to Mexico once and seeing the older ladies shopping with these big mesh bags, why aren’t they selling those stores? Also why do they call them hobo bags? Any hobo would be ashamed to have such an ugly bag named after them. A hobo wouldn’t be caught dead carrying one of them, they have too much common sense and dignity.
Belts around the Waist
I wear a belt. I have nothing against belts even when used as an accessory. I do, however, have a thing against wearing a belt in the wrong place. Once again I’m not a fashionista and maybe those things have a name, but I’m going to refer to them as gut huggers, because that’s literally what they do. Hug and tuck your gut. A belt is meant to hold or compliment your pants; they were not meant to hide your gut, that’s what a gym’s for. I don’t have a thing against big girls or guys, if that’s how you roll, more power to you, but don’t try to hid rolls by placing a big fat belt around it. If you don’t have a waist don’t try to trick us into thinking you do, because I don’t know if you know this, but the people you’re trying to trick are probably people that already know your fat, so its lost battle.
Skinny Jeans
This goes out to all the emos of the world. Its nothing against you guys, so go ahead, slice, dice and complain to your hearts content, this goes out to your heavier comrades. Please, if you’re over 200 lbs, skinny jeans are just not for you. Oh, sure, its makes your cankles skinnier but it doesn’t take away the fact that the rest of you isn’t. The jeans are what’s skinny not the person in them. I, personally, like jeans, I’ve been an avid wearer, (not the skinny ones but the regular ones) ever since I can remember, but if you’re a girl and you wear skinny jeans, no matter how thin you are, you shouldn’t go out thinking of how sexy you look, because although you might look alright, its definitely not hot attire. It’s ok if you wear them, even cute at times, but for some reason making your butt look 100x’s bigger than your ankles doesn’t shout sexy. And guys, stop wearing girl clothes, just because it’s ok for girls to wear our clothes doesn’t justify you wearing theirs. Also, cut your hair. Their’s only 3 people than can rock long hair: Barry Gibbs, Jesus and me.
Pink
Ok, this one’s for the men. It’s also an old trend, not really seen anymore, but yet it continues to bother me when I do see it. I’m talking about the guys that wear pink and believe that it’s a unique little statement about their manhood. Look, it wasn’t funny when you wore that shirt that read Real Men Wear Pink and it wasn’t a statement when you wore a pink bowtie to prom. Pink on guys have been around for a long time, it’s not new. The only difference is that it wasn’t as gay to wear it then as it is now. Back in the day, it was considered salmon and it was common, but now, thanks to a few idiots, it’s called pink and it’s considered a statement. Fucking hate it.
Scrubs
Who the hell do you think you’re fooling? Do you really want me to believe that by wearing a pair of scrubs I’m going to assume you’re a doctor? Yes because all doctors shop at the 99 cent store and drive a 1998 Ford Focus. I shop at the 99 cent store because I’m not a doctor. You want to know how I know someone’s a doctor. Doctors are those guys that wear slacks and a polo shirt while walking to their BMW or Mercedes. They don’t have to show people their credentials, because their too busy keeping people alive and overcharging them for Tylenol.
Shit, this is getting longer than I wanted it to be. I’m just going to stop right here and maybe continue on a later post.
To conclude my rant, I would like to say this: People, if you have a few working brain cells, please do me a favor and stop dressing up like an asshole. Thank You.
Trust me, there’s more to come on this subject.
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